This Easter time has been a very special time for me as I had the opportunity to spend it with my beautiful girlfriend Abby. She arrived in the middle of Holy Week, the most busy week of the year for me in the parish. My schedule was very intense as I had to: prepare for mass every day on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, help create a Garden of Repose (very important in the Anglican tradition) and be at the four-hour long Vigil on Thursday, prepping two 3 hour long masses back to back on Friday, and finally helping with both the Easter Vigil on Saturday and Easter Masses on Sunday. Needless to say, the week was jam packed. Incredibly, we were able to find things to do alone together as in going out for dinner and even going to a West End production of Les Miserables.
It still amazes me as to how a relationship grows and matures in a long distance environment. The state of being in a long distance relationship continues to pose new challenges and questions that I never expect. Ironically, I found that this was never more true than when my significant other was phsycially two feet away from me! Funny how that is....
I think one of the joys and challenges that face any relationship which spreads a distance is that of images. These images of your partner build themselves within our minds, even when we perhaps don't intend them to. When you are living in a world that is independent from the world of your partner, I think it is quite easy for these images to flurish. And for the most part they should! Knowing that your girlfriend or boyfriend is there with you in spirit is a powerful thing that has helped me a lot through tough and stressful times in London. In this sense, there is somthing comforting within this deeply personal and almost spiritual presence of your significant other. I find this to be an amazing and incredible gift when you find it. It emphasises another dimension to your relationship that is quite special and reminds you that you are never alone.
In another way I think that images from long distance can be challenging. I have found out that you must not let your images of the person turn into expectations. This is very hard, if not impossible to not let happen at least a little bit. When not reminded of the true physical person, your imagination starts to build upon their unique qualities and attributes- esspeically within stressful situations that you really want them there for. Without being acknowledged, these feelings can command your perspective of the relationship. In some ways, I think this happened to me.
Instead of walking off the plane as the "sexual goddess who always says the right things and does no wrong", Abby walked off the plane as .....Abby. So thus, the challenge came to start things over in some ways. Ofcourse I did know who Abby was on one level throughout the 7 months of phone calls and emails. But what suprised me more than anything was how much I did not know her on other levels. One forgets when they are in a long distance relationship about all of the levels in a relationship. I found that I had forgotten about her physical energy and her amazing facial expressions, how she walks and carries herself, and her general physical zest for life. All these things create the balanced whole. Getting to know each other again can be quite stressful and hard. Esspecially in a foreign environment when you don't truly know which way is up or down.
What I learned more than anything about having Abby here was the many qualities of love and what it takes to enter fully into a relationship with one another. Love is romantic and should be full of "highs" as having a romantic dinner or walking along the beach. College relationships are perhaps more abundant with these "highs" and you get used to the constant buzz of romance. But love also has a tough side, a side that needs comitment and patience. This side of love can hit you like a ton of bricks and leave you feeling unprepeared. It is somthing that couples usually have to struggle through- especially when dealing with long distance. However, when you come out on the other side of this love, which will happen, I find that you will be all the stronger and grounded.
And you know what? It's worth it. Perhaps it is God talking within me that is giving me the strength to carry on, or perhaps it is craziness. It is probably both. Whatever it is, I know how blessed I am to have this girl in my life and for us to share a love that spans 4,000 miles. It was an incredible faith and emotional journey to have her here in the UK with me. What will I remember most from the whole thing? Falling in love with the "real" Abby all over again.
It still amazes me as to how a relationship grows and matures in a long distance environment. The state of being in a long distance relationship continues to pose new challenges and questions that I never expect. Ironically, I found that this was never more true than when my significant other was phsycially two feet away from me! Funny how that is....
I think one of the joys and challenges that face any relationship which spreads a distance is that of images. These images of your partner build themselves within our minds, even when we perhaps don't intend them to. When you are living in a world that is independent from the world of your partner, I think it is quite easy for these images to flurish. And for the most part they should! Knowing that your girlfriend or boyfriend is there with you in spirit is a powerful thing that has helped me a lot through tough and stressful times in London. In this sense, there is somthing comforting within this deeply personal and almost spiritual presence of your significant other. I find this to be an amazing and incredible gift when you find it. It emphasises another dimension to your relationship that is quite special and reminds you that you are never alone.
In another way I think that images from long distance can be challenging. I have found out that you must not let your images of the person turn into expectations. This is very hard, if not impossible to not let happen at least a little bit. When not reminded of the true physical person, your imagination starts to build upon their unique qualities and attributes- esspeically within stressful situations that you really want them there for. Without being acknowledged, these feelings can command your perspective of the relationship. In some ways, I think this happened to me.
Instead of walking off the plane as the "sexual goddess who always says the right things and does no wrong", Abby walked off the plane as .....Abby. So thus, the challenge came to start things over in some ways. Ofcourse I did know who Abby was on one level throughout the 7 months of phone calls and emails. But what suprised me more than anything was how much I did not know her on other levels. One forgets when they are in a long distance relationship about all of the levels in a relationship. I found that I had forgotten about her physical energy and her amazing facial expressions, how she walks and carries herself, and her general physical zest for life. All these things create the balanced whole. Getting to know each other again can be quite stressful and hard. Esspecially in a foreign environment when you don't truly know which way is up or down.
What I learned more than anything about having Abby here was the many qualities of love and what it takes to enter fully into a relationship with one another. Love is romantic and should be full of "highs" as having a romantic dinner or walking along the beach. College relationships are perhaps more abundant with these "highs" and you get used to the constant buzz of romance. But love also has a tough side, a side that needs comitment and patience. This side of love can hit you like a ton of bricks and leave you feeling unprepeared. It is somthing that couples usually have to struggle through- especially when dealing with long distance. However, when you come out on the other side of this love, which will happen, I find that you will be all the stronger and grounded.
And you know what? It's worth it. Perhaps it is God talking within me that is giving me the strength to carry on, or perhaps it is craziness. It is probably both. Whatever it is, I know how blessed I am to have this girl in my life and for us to share a love that spans 4,000 miles. It was an incredible faith and emotional journey to have her here in the UK with me. What will I remember most from the whole thing? Falling in love with the "real" Abby all over again.
No comments:
Post a Comment